Gestalt Therapy
Holistic and Relational Perspective
Gestalt therapy is a holistic approach that views the person as a whole, as an integration of body, mind and spirit, including their relationship with their environment.
The individual is a whole in themselves, while at the same time being part of the wider environment in which they exist: their relationships and everything with which they interact.
Our bodily sensations, emotions, thoughts and actions are interconnected, as well as connected to the way we relate to our environment.
One of the fundamental principles of Gestalt is co-creation: the recognition that the self cannot be understood independently of its environment.
Who, what and how I become with You depends on me, on you, and on the situation — in the here and now in which we meet.
Here and Now – Presence and Awareness
Gestalt is a present-focused approach, with the here and now at its core: becoming aware of what is happening within us in the present moment.
The events of the past, our ideas and expectations about the future, and everything we experience in our environment are all natural parts of who we have become in the present.
In therapy, rather than focusing solely on continuous thinking and interpretation, we direct our attention towards our immediate experience: what we feel, what bodily sensations we notice, how we breathe, and what is happening within us right now. As we turn our attention inward, our wants and needs can also become clearer.
As we become increasingly aware of how we function, we can recognise our automatic reactions and recurring patterns earlier and more clearly, because awareness creates the possibility of choice.
With mindful presence, choice can replace habit, and conscious decisions can replace automatic reactions.
Self-Awareness and Change
From childhood onwards, we continuously adapt to our environment. We learn what is acceptable, how we receive attention, love or recognition, and which of our feelings and needs it may seem "better" to push into the background in order to receive them.
Some of these adaptations — referred to in Gestalt as Creative Adjustments — supported our well-being as children and may even have helped us survive.
As adults, it is important to look at these adaptations and explore whether what once helped us continues to serve us in the present.
Throughout our lives, we encounter the ongoing tension of choice: how can we connect with others while remaining true to ourselves?
With the constant presence of the online world, the environment with which we can interact has expanded enormously. The lives, thoughts and opinions of distant people we do not know have become available to us almost without filters, while with just a few clicks we can present ourselves just as directly. Within this constant flow of information and connection, we are exposed to countless influences that also shape the way we perceive ourselves and the world around us.
All of this makes a deeper and more accurate awareness of ourselves even more important, as it can be easy to become disconnected from what we actually feel, what we want and what we truly need.
One of the central aims of Gestalt therapy is to help us become increasingly aware of ourselves and of what is happening within us in the here and now; to remain present in a situation while becoming aware of and allowing ourselves to experience what we are feeling.
Change can emerge from knowing ourselves more fully.
This also involves integrating those parts of ourselves that we dislike, feel ashamed of, reject, or would rather hide from others — and sometimes even from ourselves. Recognising these parts, however, is not enough. By seeing our thoughts, feelings, motivations and behaviour as interconnected, we can learn to acknowledge and take ownership of ourselves in all our complexity.
Self-acceptance is not self-exoneration. Taking ownership of our own story does not mean justifying our behaviour, nor does it mean considering everything we do to be right. Facing ourselves honestly, together with the responsibility this entails, creates the possibility for growth and change.
Why Doesn't Forcing Change Work?
The more we strive to become someone other than who we actually are, the more we may delay change.
According to Gestalt's Paradoxical Theory of Change, change does not occur when we try to become someone different, but when we come more fully into contact with who we are and with what is happening in the here and now. This includes becoming aware of and experiencing our feelings rather than trying to avoid or change them.
Turning Inward – Becoming Closer to Ourselves
Many people can describe precisely what they think about a situation while finding it difficult to recognise and put into words their feelings, bodily sensations, wants and needs. They think through the same problem again and again, searching for its causes, explanations and possible solutions, while paying little attention to their feelings and to what they are experiencing in their bodies.
To understand ourselves more deeply, it is important to find words for what we feel and experience. The more precisely we can recognise and name our inner experiences, the closer we can come to understanding our own emotional world.
Gestalt's phenomenological approach also helps us recognise our own interpretations and the potentially distorting influence of previous experiences and, as far as possible, distinguish these from what we are experiencing in the present, in the here and now.
Memories and experiences carried from the past, as well as our hypotheses about the future, can often capture our attention and distance us from consciously experiencing the present moment. When we not only notice our dynamically changing emotions, thoughts and needs, but also learn to trust them and respond to them, we can recognise what we can — and cannot — do to support their fulfilment.
Instead of trying to decide whether a feeling is "justified", or what we should feel in a particular situation, we approach what actually arises within us with curiosity. We experience and explore our feelings, thoughts, bodily sensations, reactions and relationships not as separate from one another, but as interconnected.
This can be particularly important when our thoughts override our own experience: "I shouldn't feel hurt by this"; "I'm sure they didn't mean it that way"; "I have no reason to be angry"; "I should have let this go a long time ago", and so on.
Gestalt supports us in noticing, naming and allowing ourselves to experience what is present, without immediately trying to interpret, reject or change it.
As we become increasingly attuned to our bodily sensations, emotions and needs, we can also recognise more clearly what matters to us, what we long for and what truly motivates us. This can create a foundation for responding not solely out of habit, previous adaptations or the expectations of others, but for choosing with greater flexibility, awareness and authenticity.
When Can Gestalt Therapy Be Helpful for You?
…if you find yourself thinking and analysing a lot, going over a situation again and again, yet still do not feel any closer to understanding what you feel, what you want or what you need.
…if you find it difficult to recognise, express or show your feelings, and find it easier to talk about what you think than about what you feel.
…if you find it difficult to recognise or maintain your own boundaries, struggle to say no, or often adapt to other people's needs and expectations.
…if you repeatedly find yourself in similar situations in your relationships, where the same conflicts, reactions or roles recur, and you would like to better understand how you yourself contribute to what unfolds.
…if you often experience yourself as powerless or helpless in a situation and would like to recognise where you have a choice and where your responsibility lies.
…if you are facing a difficult decision, a major life change, loss or crisis, or are going through a period when your previous ways of coping no longer work and a new direction is not yet clear.
…if you would like to become closer to yourself, develop a greater awareness of your bodily sensations, feelings and needs, and increasingly shape your decisions, relationships and life in a way that feels true to who you are.
You do not need to come with a specific problem.
Curiosity about yourself, a desire to understand yourself more deeply, or the wish to live a life that feels more authentic to who you are can, in itself, be enough to begin a therapeutic process.
How I Work
My work is grounded in the Gestalt approach. Over the years, I have also trained in a range of therapeutic and coaching methods, whose perspectives and tools I integrate into our work together. I always choose the approach that best supports the individual client and their process.
I work as an individual and couples therapist, as well as a coach. I am currently training as a Gestalt supervisor and also support clients in supervision as a supervisor in training.
I can support you in gaining greater clarity about what is happening within you and around you, recognising your own needs and where you have choices, and making your own decisions with greater awareness.
